Keeping Yourself #1
For many Americans, providing care for someone with an illness, injury or disability is a job — either paid or unpaid. Millions of Americans work in the caregiving field, in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and in private homes. Millions more help their loved ones if they require assistance. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, nearly 66 million Americans serve as family caregivers for an ill or disabled relative. On average, family caregivers provide 39.2 hours of care a week, which is roughly the equivalent of a full-time job.
Caregiving can be incredibly rewarding, both professionally and personally. Helping a person with their activities of daily living and ensuring that they can manage their lives successfully is satisfying — but it is also challenging. Providing care to a person with an illness, injury or disability can be emotionally and physically taxing, leading to caregiver stress. Because it can impact your ability to take care of others, managing this stress is vital. As a caregiver, self-care is incredibly important if you are to continue in your role.
What Is Caregiver Stress?
Caregiver stress is a condition that is often found in anyone — paid or unpaid — who is taking care of someone who is ill, injured or disabled. It is related to the emotional and physical strain of providing care, which often involves being “on call” all day. It arises from the overwhelming duty of taking care of a person who is disabled, ill, or injured. Caregiver stress may be compounded for family members as they experience grief due to the decline of their loved one. Caregivers who work with individuals with behavioral difficulties, such as memory issues, aggression and wandering, may suffer from even greater levels of caregiver stress.
Caregiver stress is associated with depression and anxiety, with 40 to 70% of caregivers reporting symptoms of depression. It may also lead to high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease, particularly for women who are taking care of their spouse. Prioritizing the needs of another can often lead to caregivers neglecting their own health, from skipping doctor’s appointments to failing to eat right and get exercise.
Why Putting Yourself First Sometimes Is Critical
If you are a caregiver, you may be a person’s primary support system. The equation is pretty simple: if you fall ill because you are not taking care of yourself properly, then that person will not have anyone to take care of him or her.
There is a saying that is employed frequently in these circumstances that bears repeating: just like on a plane, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before you can assist others. It may be a cliché, but it is used frequently for a reason — it is true.
Caregiver stress is not a made-up syndrome, or an excuse to be selfish. It is a real phenomenon that impacts people in situations just like yours. If you are taking care of someone, you know how difficult the day-to-day grind can be, from dealing with the emotions of your loved one to handling the challenges of medical appointments and the need to be ready for the unexpected. It wears on a person, both mentally and physically. Taking care of yourself is necessary so that you can continue to function, and keep being there — strong and determined.
How Caregivers Can Prioritize Their Health and Well-being
There are any number of ways that you can engage in self-care throughout the day. By taking care of yourself in ways both big and small, you will be able to take care of your loved one even better.
First, there are things that you should be doing routinely to help fortify yourself to handle the daily stresses that life as a caregiver will throw your way. Start by getting a good night of sleep, aiming for seven to eight hours every night. While it may be tempting to stay up late for some alone time, remember that your days will be long — and getting sleep should be your priority. Next, make sure that you eat well-balanced meals and drink plenty of water. It may be easier to eat junk food or guzzle soda as you focus on the needs of your loved one. But taking the time to eat fruits and vegetables and stay hydrated will help you feel better…and may help you avoid sickness. Finally, you should exercise every single day, even if it is just to do 15 minutes of stretching or a short walk. As a bonus, attempt to get outside during your exercise; you’ll find that the fresh air revives you and helps you stay focused.
Second, you should take the time to care for your physical and mental health needs on a regular basis. Schedule and attend medical appointments, and attend to your own aches and pains. When you are taking care of someone with a chronic illness or disability, you may tend to downplay your own health needs. But it is important to address your medical concerns as they arise — to keep yourself healthy and so that you can be there for your loved one. You should also consider scheduling therapy or counseling sessions. Caregiving is difficult, emotionally-draining work. Having a neutral third party to talk about your feelings with can be invaluable. Support groups may also be available in your area for caretakers. Alternatively, spend time with friends or family members, and allow yourself to vent. It is OK to have complicated emotions about your role as a caretaker — and to express them. Another way that you may be able to seek release from this stress is through other forms of relaxation, such as massage, yoga, mediation, prayer, or even reading.
Third, consider your overall needs. What makes you happy? Think about what you enjoy — and find a way to do it. Ask for help, from friends, family or religious support groups. Local agencies or social workers may be able to provide resources to give you respite. This can give you the opportunity to pursue the things in life that give you joy, such as painting, spending time with friends, golfing, or any other activity. They key is to ask for help, rather than waiting for others to guess that you might need assistance.
While caregiver stress is common, it isn’t unavoidable. By putting yourself first sometimes, you can avoid some of the pitfalls associated with caring for an injured, ill, or disabled individual. In the long run, both you and your loved one will be better off if you focus on yourself sometimes — which is a win-win for everyone.